Couple Family and Sex Therapy NYC


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Gracie Landes, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist located in Chelsea - the Flatiron District of Manhattan will work with you to build solutions that fit you when you have:

the desire to improve any aspect of your life •  trouble adjusting to a new situation or life transition • conflicts that keeps you from being closer to people you care about • anxiety, lack of information or embarrassment about sex • questions about relationships or sexual health...

and you want to work with someone who is dedicated to providing counseling that is brief, respectful and effective, and to discovering what works


make an appointment or check my schedule

information and resources about healthy relationships and sexuality

There's so much misinformation out there, so, if I work with you, or even  if  I don't ,  I would like you to have access to some good resources about problems people typically ask me for help with. I have listed only resources am familiar with and believe  are good, which is how I can recommend them to you with confidence:



Letting Go of Anger
Rage: A Step by Step Guide to Overcoming Explosive Anger

both by Ronald Potter-Efron

Love Without Hurt

by Steven Stosny


Compassion Power

This is some of the most effective work on anger management I know and use with my clients 



Anxiety Disorders Association of America


Asexual Visibility and Education Network

This organization was founded to create discussion about asexuality among sexual and asexual people, so they understand that unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation, that asexual people have the same emotional needs as anyone else and are equally capable of forming intimate relationships.



The Couples Clinic

The link above directs you to a series of articles explaining how I often work with couples, and a workbook I use with them


The Solution-Focused Marriage: Five Simple Habits that will Bring out the Best in Your Relationship

by Elliott Connie

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman

The New Rules of Marriage

 by Terrence Real

Getting Back Together

by Bettie Youngs and Massa Goetz

Should We Stay Together? 

by Jeffrey H. Larson



Interview with Marriage counseling researcher Dr. Brent Atkinson, who founded The Couples Clinic  in Geneva Illinois and trained me in his methods.


Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Domestic Violence


Love Without Hurt

by Steven Stosny

websites and hotlines

Compassion Power

innovative books and tools to help people who find themselves angry, violent relationships

Manhattan DA's Office Domestic Violence Resources

Essential information for those in relationships where there is domestic violence

New Jersey State Department of Children and Families

has a domestic violence website  and a telephone Hotline for NJ residents: call 800-572-7233 for  24-hour, seven-day-a-week access to information for domestic violence victims and others seeking information about domestic violence.

NYC Family Justice Centers

Located in Manhattan, the Bronx, Brroklyn and Queens, to provide criminal justice, civil legal, and social services all in one location for victims of domestic violence, elder abuse, and sex trafficking. Victims can meet with a prosecutor, speak with a trained counselor, and apply for housing and financial assistance in just one place. Children age 3 and up can play in a children’s room while their parents receive services. Services are free and available to all victims.Victims can get help at the Centers no matter what their immigration status or the language they speak. Staff can speak more than 30 languages and interpretation services are also available in many more languages.

Safe Horizon

If you are currently experiencing domestic violence, and live in one of the five boroughs of New York City, contact is this agency at 800-621-4673

Why Domestic Violence Victims Don't Leave

This TED talk by domestic violence survivor Leslie Morgan Steiner explains how domestic violence hurts all of us, and what we can do about it


Female Orgasm


Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual Growth Program for Women

by Julia R. Heiman, Leslie Lopiccolo and Jospeh Lopiccolo


Becoming Cliterate - Orgasm Equality and Why it Matters

by Laurie Mintz


The Elusive Orgasm: a Women's Guide to Why She Can't and How She Can

by Vivienne Cass


I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide

by Doron Solot and Marshall Miller

The Orgasm Answer Guide

by Carlos Beyer-Flores and Beverly Whipple

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

by Ian Kerner

When the Earth Moves: Women and Orgasm

by Mikaya Hart

Women's Anatomy of Arousal

by Sheri Winston


Dodson and Ross on How To Orgasm

Female Sexuality

Come as You Are : The Surprising New Science That Will Transform  Your Sex Life

by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.


Because it Feels Good : A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction

by Debby Herbenick





Getting Past The Affair

by Douglas K. Snyder

The New Monogamy

by Tammy Nelson

Living and Loving After Betrayal: How to Heal  from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity and Chronic Resentment

by Steven Stosny



Come Hither: a Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex

by Gloria Brame

Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely

by Bill Henkin

Screw the Roses, Send me Thorns

by Devon and Miller

S & M 101:  A realistic Introduction

by Jay Wiseman

When Someone you Love is Kinky

by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt


National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

information and advocacy for consenting adult sin the BDSM, fetish, leather  swing, and poly communities


Lesbian Gay Bisexual


Sex Happens: the gay men's guide to creative Intimacy

by Arlen Keith Leight

Ten Things Gay Men Can Do Can Do to Find Real Love

by Joe Kort


American Institute of Bisexuality

Callen Lorde Community Health Center

Medical facility for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community as well as people living with HIV/AIDS

The Center

Founded in 1983 to provide quality health and wellness programs, and a secure place to for LGBT people come together to share knowledge and expertise and support

 The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association

works to combat homophobia within the medical profession and in society at large; to promote quality health care for LGBT and HIV-positive people

The Handsome Father

support for gay and bisexual men raising children


organization of straight allies (parents, family members and friends) of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender people working to promote equality and acceptance of LGBT people.

It Gets Better Project

Columnist Dan Savage and his partner Terry started this video series with their own stories of being bullied and invited others to upload their own to YouTube 

The Trevor Project

the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth. Suicide prevention hotline : 866-488-7386

Male Sexuality

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction: How to Regain Confidence and have Great Sex 

by Barry McCarthy and Michael Metz 

Coping with Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner and Have Great Sex

by Barry McCarthy and Michael Metz

The New Male Sexuality

by Bernie Zilbergeld

Cockfidence: The Extraordinary Lover’s Guide

by Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel

She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring a Woman 

by Ian Kerner



Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies)

by Fritz Klein

Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? A guide for women concerned  about their men

by Joe Kort

Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and in Love with a Woman

by Joanne Fleischer


Straight Spouse Network

Provides online and face to face peer support for current or former straight partners/spouses of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and for mixed orientation couples

Painful Sex


Endometriosis Association

International Society for Sexual Medicine

International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease

International Pelvic Pain Society




And Baby Makes Three

both by John M. Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

Becoming A Step Family 

by Patricia Papernow

Nurturing Good Children Now
When Parents Disagree and What You Can Do About It

both by Ron Taffel



The Ethical Slut

by Dossie Easton

The Jealousy Workbook: exercises and insights for managing open relationships

by Kathy Labriola

The Lesbian Polyamory Reader

Marcia Munson & Judith P. Stelboum, editors  

Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships

by Tristan Taormino



Does Polyamory Work? column by Elisabeth Schiff

More Than Two

Our Open Agreement website that helps people structure equitable arrangements

What is Polyamory FAQ at

religious couples and sexuality


The Newlywed's Guide to Physical Intimacy (for Orthodox Jewish Couples) 

by Jennie Rosenfeld and David S. Ribner


Intimate Judaism podcast



Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids

by Cathy Winks and Anne Seamans

Rekindling Desire: a Step by Step Program to help Low Sex and No-Sex Marraiges

by Barry McCarthy and Emily McCarthy

Enduring Desire: Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy

by Barry McCarthy and Michael Metz  

Where Did My Libido Go?

by Dr. Rosie King

When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match

by Sandra Pertot

 The Return of Desire

by Gina Ogden

Reclaiming Your Sexual Self

by Kathryn Hall

Sexuality and Aging


 Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter

by Peggy Brick, Jan Lunquist, Allysin Sandak, and Bill Tavener

Better Than I Ever Expected
Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex

both by Joan Price

Sex and Love at Midlife: It’s Better Than Ever

by  Bernie Zilbergeld and George Zibergeld

Sex Ed and HOw TO


The Guide to Getting it On

by Paul Joannides

The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: the Most Complete Manual Ever Written

by Anne Semans

The Joy of Sex: The Ultimate Revised Edition


Ask the Sex Counselor and Ask Dr Myrtle

columns written by the owners of a sexuality boutique in Madison Wisconsin,  a sexuality educator and an MD

Go Ask Alice

written by an educator at Columbia University

Kinsey Confidential

resources, Q & A, blog and podcasts form the  Kinsey Institute

Sex Smart Films

film archive subscription service  that promotes sexual literacy

The Sinclair Institute

educational films and supplies


The Body

comprehensive HIV/AIDS resources

The Center for Disease Control & Prevention

Fact Sheets and Treatment Guidelines form the CDC

Stress management and self regulation


Mindfulness: an Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World (book and CD

by Mark Williams, PhD and Danny Penman

Hardwiring Happiness

by Rich Hanson, PhD

A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook

by Bob Stahl and Elisha Goldstein

The Now Effect: How a Mindful Moment Can Change the Rest of Your Life

by Elisha Goldstein

The Healing Power of Breath

by Richard Brown MD

The One Thing Holding You Back: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Connection

by Rafael Cushnir

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion : Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions

by Christopher K. Germer

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

by Joe Dispenza



UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center

has an online class , guided meditation MP3s and other free resources

Rick Hanson's website

The author of Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha's brain and others provides numerous recordings, links and other resources

Mindfulness Meditation New York Collaborative

lists classes, resources and teachers in NYC

Substance misuse

Alcoholics Anonymous

The original 12-step group 

Agnostic AA NYC

A collection of meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous in New York City for recovering alcoholics who prefer an alternative to the emphasis on religion and Higher Power commonly encountered in most A.A. meetings.

Al-Anon Family groups

An off shoot of Alcoholics Anonymous for friends and families of problem drinkers

Moderation Management

a behavioral change program and national support group network for people concerned about their drinking and who desire to make positive lifestyle changes. MM empowers individuals to accept personal responsibility for choosing and maintaining their own path, whether moderation or abstinence. MM promotes early self-recognition of risky drinking behavior, when moderate drinking is a more easily achievable goal.

Smart Recovery

A secular alcoholism recovery alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous

Therapist Locators

The following links offer therapist locators, advice on what to look for in in a therapist and different approaches to therapy:

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Therapist Locator

Society for Sex Therapy and Research Therapist Finder

Good Therapy

American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists professional locator



My Husband Betty

She's Not the Man I Married

by Helen Boyd

Gender Outlaw

My Gender Workbook

by Kate Bornstein


en | Gender

blog on gender and trans issues by Helen Boyd, journalist, lecturer and author of the acclaimed books My Husband Betty and She's Not the Man I Married

International Foundation for Gender Education

promotes acceptance for transgender people, advocates for freedom of gender expression and promote the understanding and acceptance of all people

National Center for Transgender Equality

TransActive Education & Advocacy

provides support to improve the quality of life of transgender and gender non-conforming children, youth and their families through education, services, advocacy and research

World Association for Transgender Health

Brings together diverse professionals dedicated to developing best practices and policies worldwide that promote health, research, education, respect, dignity, and equality for transgender, transsexual, and gender-variant people in all cultural settings.